I’ve also found myself navigating the middle passage of life, not wanting to abandon the life I’ve built, but still craving a deeper creative presence within it. It’s reassuring to hear voices like yours that don’t frame creativity as all-or-nothing, but instead as something that can live gently alongside the everyday.
The post started out talking about a creative life and then took a turn (in my mind) by talking about a successful creative life.
I’m unsure that we can, each of us, expect to have a successful (read: financially successful) creative life, or even a successful creative life as defined by # of subscribers (or any subscriber, for that matter). No matter how much we might strive for that…
But a creative life, we can all grasp that rung, no?
My empty nest is fast approaching (5 weeks and counting: eek!). I am thinking about how for the last 23 years, I could excuse the lack of attention to my creativity (aside from journaling) as unavoidable given my responsibilities (single mother, full-time worker, etc). Those responsibilities (well, save the FT job, for now) are dissipating. Will I be able to reclaim my creativity, revive it? 🩷
Thanks for your thoughts, Elle. Absolutely, living a creative life of some kind is open to the majority of us, whereas a creative life with a modicum of "success" (however we choose to define it) is a separate thing. My thinking lately has very much been about trying to unpick and separate out these two elements of my writing life, as well as decide where I want to focus my energy in this next phase.
I hear you on the approaching empty nest...I sometimes wonder if my panic around these issues is partly down to not having an "excuse" for not writing anymore!
I love your thoughts on this! I'm not quite as near to the empty nest (my youngest is 10), but I have felt these tensions for a long time and still feel them acutely. I do feel I had and made choices, but I am becoming increasingly aware of how these choices were influenced and limited by societal expectations. I don't regret having children or being married, but it did and does mean being somewhat clipped in my creative freedom. On the other hand there are so many other ways for that freedom to be limited that have nothing to do with gender, children or marital status – a fact that I am trying not to overlook, as well as knowing deeply that having my partner's support and being in touch with my children's creativity have both enhanced mine so much.
Thank you, and yes, I totally hear you! We have both clearly been lucky enough to have had choices, but I also agree that these have often been influenced by outside sources. I do admire the way younger people are more open to different ways of living, and I can’t help but envy those women brave enough to follow a different path, whilst recognising I would lose too much to do so. As you say, a supportive partner and children can actually enhance our creative lives.
I’ve also found myself navigating the middle passage of life, not wanting to abandon the life I’ve built, but still craving a deeper creative presence within it. It’s reassuring to hear voices like yours that don’t frame creativity as all-or-nothing, but instead as something that can live gently alongside the everyday.
Thank you! Absolutely, we need to find ways of making it part of our every day :)
I think one of the biggest parts of living a creative life is figuring out again and again what that means to us in different stages of life!
Totally!
The post started out talking about a creative life and then took a turn (in my mind) by talking about a successful creative life.
I’m unsure that we can, each of us, expect to have a successful (read: financially successful) creative life, or even a successful creative life as defined by # of subscribers (or any subscriber, for that matter). No matter how much we might strive for that…
But a creative life, we can all grasp that rung, no?
My empty nest is fast approaching (5 weeks and counting: eek!). I am thinking about how for the last 23 years, I could excuse the lack of attention to my creativity (aside from journaling) as unavoidable given my responsibilities (single mother, full-time worker, etc). Those responsibilities (well, save the FT job, for now) are dissipating. Will I be able to reclaim my creativity, revive it? 🩷
Thanks for your thoughts, Elle. Absolutely, living a creative life of some kind is open to the majority of us, whereas a creative life with a modicum of "success" (however we choose to define it) is a separate thing. My thinking lately has very much been about trying to unpick and separate out these two elements of my writing life, as well as decide where I want to focus my energy in this next phase.
I hear you on the approaching empty nest...I sometimes wonder if my panic around these issues is partly down to not having an "excuse" for not writing anymore!
This is lovely and resonant. You're doing a wonderful, beautiful, amazing job, Kate!
Awww, thank you so much, Kolina! That means everything :)))
🤗🤗🤗
I love your thoughts on this! I'm not quite as near to the empty nest (my youngest is 10), but I have felt these tensions for a long time and still feel them acutely. I do feel I had and made choices, but I am becoming increasingly aware of how these choices were influenced and limited by societal expectations. I don't regret having children or being married, but it did and does mean being somewhat clipped in my creative freedom. On the other hand there are so many other ways for that freedom to be limited that have nothing to do with gender, children or marital status – a fact that I am trying not to overlook, as well as knowing deeply that having my partner's support and being in touch with my children's creativity have both enhanced mine so much.
Thank you, and yes, I totally hear you! We have both clearly been lucky enough to have had choices, but I also agree that these have often been influenced by outside sources. I do admire the way younger people are more open to different ways of living, and I can’t help but envy those women brave enough to follow a different path, whilst recognising I would lose too much to do so. As you say, a supportive partner and children can actually enhance our creative lives.
I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I talked about this issue on this podcast with another Substacker, Dr Kathleen Waller, a couple of years ago. Here is the link: https://thematterhorn.substack.com/p/mother-writers-a-conversation-with-9c2
Thanks! It’s great to feel heard, and thank you for the link!